Tuesday, November 27, 2012
New Political Party Created for Jeep Owners Only
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Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Subtle Anarchist Leaves Phone on During Presidential Speech
CHICAGO- During President Obama's acceptance speech following the announcement of his re-election, The Subtle Anarchist left his phone on loud in hopes that if someone should try to contact him, it could be heard by the crowd and Barack Obama alike. President Obama was about halfway through his elocution when the hollow ringing reached his ears. While it only momentarily crossed his mind, the president was slightly affected by the drone.
The Subtle Anarchist made eye contact with the president the moment his phone began the song of its people. "I swear I saw a bead of sweat form on our beloved president's brow," Anarchist said. "And it gave me great pleasure to leave my hands at my sides, and allow my phone to continue it's cheerful refrain." The slight, essentially unnoticeable effect the phone's ringing had on the president would make other anarchists ashamed according to The Subtle Anarchist. But his style is what is most important to him. "I possess the same rancorous emotions for the government as other anarchists, but I believe in a classier attempt at their sanity," said Anarchist.
The method employed by The Subtle Anarchist has slightly annoyed many political leaders, ranging from senators, governors, and even sheriffs. Anarchist has been plotting against presidents since Nixon's election to the highest office. "The other anarchists had their framing of Watergate," said Anarchist. "I simply intercepted the mail he received and addressed it all to a Mr. Richard Dixon. He nearly cursed his mother over that 'misspelling'."
The reasoning for The Subtle Anarchist's tactics is simple in his mind. "I believe that big demonstrations are more memorable, but the small annoyances of public life are what really shepherd leaders down the path of self destruction,"Anarchist said. "All guards are down when they don't take their opponent seriously, or don't even know they have an opposition. All it takes is one minuscule shove toward the edge, and over the precipice they fall." The Subtle Anarchist claims responsibility for Bill Clinton's fall from grace, as well as the actions of George W. Bush that led to the economic fall out in America in recent years. "Yeah, that was me," said Anarchist.
Though it may take some time to "break" President Obama, The Subtle Anarchist remains optimistic. "A good wad of gum stuck under his windshield, or consistently tapping my fingers while he's trying to read might do the trick." Anarchist refuses to vote, citing his democratic right to despise government and all of its processes, but he's thankful Barack Obama won a second term. "Truth be told, he's been a difficult leader to subtly antagonize. I could use another four years to utterly pester the living crap out of him."
The Subtle Anarchist made eye contact with the president the moment his phone began the song of its people. "I swear I saw a bead of sweat form on our beloved president's brow," Anarchist said. "And it gave me great pleasure to leave my hands at my sides, and allow my phone to continue it's cheerful refrain." The slight, essentially unnoticeable effect the phone's ringing had on the president would make other anarchists ashamed according to The Subtle Anarchist. But his style is what is most important to him. "I possess the same rancorous emotions for the government as other anarchists, but I believe in a classier attempt at their sanity," said Anarchist.
The method employed by The Subtle Anarchist has slightly annoyed many political leaders, ranging from senators, governors, and even sheriffs. Anarchist has been plotting against presidents since Nixon's election to the highest office. "The other anarchists had their framing of Watergate," said Anarchist. "I simply intercepted the mail he received and addressed it all to a Mr. Richard Dixon. He nearly cursed his mother over that 'misspelling'."
The reasoning for The Subtle Anarchist's tactics is simple in his mind. "I believe that big demonstrations are more memorable, but the small annoyances of public life are what really shepherd leaders down the path of self destruction,"Anarchist said. "All guards are down when they don't take their opponent seriously, or don't even know they have an opposition. All it takes is one minuscule shove toward the edge, and over the precipice they fall." The Subtle Anarchist claims responsibility for Bill Clinton's fall from grace, as well as the actions of George W. Bush that led to the economic fall out in America in recent years. "Yeah, that was me," said Anarchist.
Though it may take some time to "break" President Obama, The Subtle Anarchist remains optimistic. "A good wad of gum stuck under his windshield, or consistently tapping my fingers while he's trying to read might do the trick." Anarchist refuses to vote, citing his democratic right to despise government and all of its processes, but he's thankful Barack Obama won a second term. "Truth be told, he's been a difficult leader to subtly antagonize. I could use another four years to utterly pester the living crap out of him."
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