Tornado Season Inspires New Wizard of Oz Adaptation

Oklahoma City- Matthew Chirp, the owner of the local children's theater Perform!, has decided in light of the recent tornadoes to put on a new Wizard of Oz adaptation entitled, "The Wizard of Despair". Set to be performed in late summer, the casting and production are well underway to meet the needs of the tornado-wrought city.

In this adaptation, the theme is what one could call, "gut-wrenching terror", according to director Chirp. "I took a lot of inspiration from the heartache of these recent tornadoes and channeled it into the most logical place possible- a children's theater." While many children are members of Perform!, it has proved difficult to cast this particular play. "I don't think I'm asking too much of their parents. They just have to sign a waiver saying it's okay if their child dies while in rehearsal or a performance. It's highly unlikely though...pussies," said Chirp.

Many of the children don't realize the danger they are putting themselves in. Lucy Spiller, 8, who is going to play the role of Dorothy, has to be flung violently through the air, thrown against the walls of the theater, and have debris thrown at her while mid-flight. "It has to happen that way," said Chirp. "I want the audience to feel the inevitable pain that little Lucy will be suffering. Everyone must suffer," said Chirp. Lucy has been told of her role, but doesn't believe any actual harm will come to her, "It's pretend death and destruction, Mr. Chirp wouldn't actually hurt me," said Spiller, the smile fading from her young, bright face. "Would he?"

The group that has most adamantly protested the adaptation's production has been the local Humane Society. The reason for their involvement is due to the small dog playing Toto. Ser Barriston is a black Scottie dog, owned by the locally prominent Lenly family. They often rent out their dog to plays, commercials, and magazines for some extra cash. "Ser Barriston pays for his own way," said Mrs. Lenly. "He's no freeloader."

Despite Ser Barriston's uncanny ability to buy his own dog chow, the Humane Society remains unimpressed. "That dog should be enjoying its days as a stupid little animal," said shelter organizer, Shirley Hamm. "Not parading around like a fancy frou frou and getting thrown in the air by a manic depressive theater snob." Ser Barriston's role as Toto would require him to be flung through the air with debris thrown at him like his Dorothy counterpart, which would prove to be his largest acting challenge yet. "He would also be inevitably shot at some point," said Chirp. "Dogs in movies are always shot. It would be unrealistic to let him live."

Undeterred by all of the controversy over the production, Oklahoma City has not made a comment. The  mayor's office secretary offered some insight, "We're all too busy with the actual tornado destruction to care about a pretend one," said secretary Jamie White. "Let them have their fun." The show must go on.